


First String

by bubblegumbaby



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Johnny's Jr., SixTONES (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-06
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2020-01-05 19:01:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18372179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bubblegumbaby/pseuds/bubblegumbaby
Summary: It's hard to see Juri with Shintarou, especially when Hokuto's still in love with Juri.





	First String

Life is seriously unfair, Hokuto decides when he steps into the clearing and the first thing he sees is Juri with Shintarou. Juri laughs at something Shintarou says, whacking the other man’s chest with force but with equal affection sparkling in his eyes. Shintarou leans in to give him a quick kiss on the lips, and the sweet smile that stays on Juri’s lips even after Shintarou pulls away is a rusty knife twisting in Hokuto’s heart. He immediately turns to Jesse with an accusing glare, and it takes his friend all of two seconds to figure out what’s wrong.

 

Jesse looks away from Juri and Shintarou with a sheepish look on his face.

 

“I didn’t know they were going to be here,” he says meekly.

 

Hokuto stares at him for a few seconds longer before rolling his eyes and looking away. It isn’t worth it to get angry at Jesse. Besides, it isn’t as if Jesse held him at gunpoint and forced him to come to the music festival.

 

“Whatever,” he says instead. “Let’s just get out of - ”

 

He never gets to finish his sentence, because that’s when someone thumps him on the back hard enough to make him stumble. It’s followed by an equally forceful call of his name, and Hokuto is sure that everyone standing within a hundred feet now knows what he’s called as well. He straightens up and glares at Fuma who fist bumps Jesse with a large grin on his face.

 

“It’s been months since I’ve seen you,” Fuma complains as he throws an arm around Hokuto. “Why so elusive, huh?”

 

Hokuto’s about to snap exactly why when said reason appears in front of him and robs him of his ability to speak. He feels exactly how he did four years ago, and the realisation that he has not moved on even the slightest bit makes him feel like the world’s greatest idiot. But Juri looks as beautiful as ever, his piercing glistening in the light of the setting sun, and his small but hesitant smile directed at Hokuto still causes a firework of feelings to set off in Hokuto’s heart. Juri’s being nice, and he has always been the nicer one between the two of them, so Hokuto doesn’t feel all that bad when he plain out ignores Juri and turns to greet Taiga instead. He sees Juri’s face fall out of the corner of his eyes, but it’s quickly replaced by a smile when Fuma tugs his best friend into his arms to say hi.

 

“Hey,” Shintarou says, and it’s plain on his face that he feels awkward about the situation. Serves him right.

 

“Hi,” Hokuto returns and gives him a pointed look before looking back at Jesse and daring him to say anything.

 

Jesse simply raises his hands slightly and shakes his head.

 

“Kouchiiiii,” Jesse calls out happily when he spots the older boy and immediately dashes towards him as if staying around Hokuto any longer would result in him getting killed.

 

Kouchi looks happy though confused as he suddenly gets an armful of Jesse, but he takes one look at the group in front of him and lets out an understanding sigh. Jesse makes a pitiful noise, and it’s almost ridiculous considering how much bigger he is than Kouchi, but Kouchi can’t find it in his heart to say anything mean when Jesse looks down at him with big, sad eyes.

 

“I did this,” he says as if he had just murdered someone.

 

Kouchi laughs at the dramatics, which only makes Jesse pouts harder. He reaches up to pet Jesse’s head once, an easy smile on his face.

 

“You didn’t do anything. Don’t worry.”

 

“I convinced Hokuto to come.”

 

A scoff comes from beside them, and they turn to see Taiga with a completely unamused expression on his face.

 

“Which is a good thing. He’s being ridiculous. It has been months!”

 

Kouchi his neck so he can look past Jesse to check on Hokuto, hoping that he isn’t left standing around alone. Thankfully, Kento is there chatting with him and keeping him distracted for the most part. Kouchi turns back to Taiga with a frown. He knows what Taiga is saying makes sense, but Kouchi also feels sorry for Hokuto.

 

“Well, we are his friends.”

 

“Exactly. One breakup isn’t the end of the world. Juri’s been beating himself up over it too. And it isn’t as if Shintarou is all oblivious and happy either.”

 

“I know,” Jesse says, pulling a face. “I went out with Juri the other day, and all he could talk about was Hokuto.”

 

“It’s not like he can talk about Hokuto to Shintarou,” Kouchi points out. Shintarou feels bad enough about what happened, but it isn’t his fault for falling in love with Juri and confessing to him either.

 

“And the whole point of today is to have a good time,” Fuma cuts in as he stops next to Taiga. “They need to just get over it. All of them.”

 

Fuma sounds flippant and anyone who doesn’t know him might think he doesn’t care, but his friends know that he cares more than anyone, especially when two of his closest friends are involved.

 

“So get over there and start talking to them before they realise you’re talking about them,” Fuma says, shooing them away like a flock of pesky pigeons.

 

* * *

 

“You’re staring.”

 

Hokuto peels his eyes away from Juri, a defiant look on his face to cover up the redness appearing on his cheeks. Taiga doesn’t look intimidated at all.

 

“Why do you care?” Hokuto bites back, the music from the band loud enough that he isn’t worried that anyone would overhear him.

 

“Because Juri’s one of the most perceptive people I know, and he can definitely tell you’re watching even if he looks like he’s having a good time.”

 

“With Shintarou,” Hokuto grits out before he can stop himself.

 

There’s a beat of silence before Taiga shrugs.

 

“Not my point.”

 

White hot anger flashes through Hokuto, but he closes his eyes and lets out a sigh instead of acting on it for once. It’s been months now, almost a year, and even he knows that being angry only hurts himself and everyone around him. He had thought it would be worth it if it meant hurting Juri the way Juri had hurt him, but actually seeing Juri cry had only made him feel worse.

 

Taiga grips his shoulder, and he opens his eyes expecting a lecture, but all he sees are compassionate eyes gazing back at him.

 

“He really tried, you know? To make it work between you two,” Taiga says softly, and Hokuto squeezes his eyes shut at the sudden onslaught of emotions.

 

“I know,” Hokuto breathes out, and that was probably the worst part.

 

The last few months of their relationship had been a catastrophe. It wasn’t because they were fighting, though it probably would have been better if they were. They were both emotional wrecks even if they looked fine on the outside. Juri had been trying so hard to pretend that everything was normal, to forget about the fact that Shintarou was finally in love with him too after so many years of waiting. Seeing the struggle on Juri’s face every day was torture to Hokuto, because Shintarou had always been the only thing Juri had ever wanted, and he knew that.

 

The problem was Juri wasn’t selfish enough to just leave Hokuto, and Hokuto knew that breaking up with him was probably the second hardest thing that Juri had ever done in his life, especially since it hadn’t even been a proper breakup. The hardest was probably rejecting Shintarou so that he didn’t break Hokuto’s heart. Sometimes, Hokuto wants to blame everything on Juri. If only Juri had been more selfish, if only Juri had just grabbed what he wanted without giving a fuck about anything or anyone else. Hokuto would have been hurt all the same, but he’s sure that things would have turned out better for both of them.

 

But Hokuto knows that he can’t just place all the blame on Juri. He hadn’t wanted to let him go, even if he had known that it was tearing them both up on the inside. The first few times Juri tried talking to him about it ended up with him taking Juri rougher than he ever had before as he tried to convey to Juri what he couldn’t in words, that Juri couldn’t leave him, that he needed Juri more than anything. Juri had went along with it, pressing apologies into his kisses. Yet, even as they laid tangled in sheets and with each other, Juri had never felt further away.

 

It was a poor farce of the love they once shared, but it was an illusion Hokuto was willing to maintain, if it only meant keeping Juri by his side. But the guilt that had shackled Juri to their relationship eventually became too heavy for him to bear, and he broke down.

 

The setting sunlight that stroked Juri’s red hair as he turned away from Hokuto was still etched in Hokuto’s mind, as was the way Juri’s body trembled as he cried and begged Hokuto to just let him go. Months of pent up frustration and pain had caused the raw truth to spill out, instead of the refined and polished version that Juri had no doubt prepared in his head. Hokuto hadn’t needed to hear how much Juri loves Shintarou and could never love him the same way, and Juri hadn’t wanted him to hear it either. Hokuto had felt like the worst guy on earth as he slipped out of bed and put on his clothes, wrenching his wrist out of Juri’s grip, ignoring the other’s sorries and pleas for him to stay. He had left the room soundlessly, leaving Juri crying under ironically warm sheets.

 

They hadn’t talked since that day, except for that one time when Juri had come over to try and apologise only for Hokuto to shoot him down with angry glares and even more vicious words.

 

Their friends eventually figured out what happened, and Fuma had been the one to collect Juri’s stuff from their shared apartment. Some time between then and now, Shintarou and Juri had gotten together. The day Hokuto learnt about the news, he had too much to drink, and the wine stain from when he had impulsively thrown the wine glass at his living room wall still remains.  

 

“Hey, you okay?”

 

Taiga’s voice brings Hokuto back to the present, and he nods even though they both know it’s a lie.

 

“Is he…” Hokuto starts after a lapse of silence. “Is he…”

 

Taiga doesn’t push him, just waits patiently as he hums along to the song being played on stage.

 

“Is he happy?” Hokuto finally whispers.

 

Taiga’s humming stops abruptly, and Hokuto can feel Taiga staring at him. He keeps his gaze forward, not wanting to turn and see the pity that was definitely shining in Taiga’s eyes. His friends might not have meant it, but he could feel their sympathetic glances all night, and he eventually decided to sneak away from their little group when it all became too much. Shintarou and Juri had been considerate enough to talk to other people instead of each other in his presence, but being in their presence is just still too much to handle, especially when all he has been doing is trying to forget everything instead of confronting it as he should have months ago. He suddenly feels so tired, as if a whole year of weariness had finally caught up with him.

 

“He is,” Taiga finally says, and there’s something in his voice that compels Hokuto to look at him.

 

Instead of the pity that he had been sure he would find in Taiga’s eyes, he finds compassion and understanding. He blinks in surprise, but Taiga turns away the next moment, and Hokuto isn’t so sure of what he saw.

 

“How do you feel?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Now that you know he’s happy, how do you feel?”

 

“Upset,” Hokuto replies immediately, because it will always suck knowing that Juri can find happiness without him, but… a smile touches his lips for the first time in a long while, “but also relieved.”

 

Taiga makes an inquiring noise, turning to look at Hokuto in surprise.

 

Hokuto lets out a sigh as he looks over at Juri, feeling his heart clenching painfully at the smile that lights up Juri’s face as Shintarou reaches over to tuck his hair behind his ear.

 

“Despite everything, that’s all I ever wanted for him, you know. For him to be happy. That’s why I went after him despite knowing he was in love with Shintarou. It’s just… I once thought that I was the one who would eventually make him happy, and… and when we were together, he had always made me feel so happy and lucky.”

 

There’s a moment of silence, and Hokuto’s starting to wonder if he just said something really stupid. Well, he knows he’s stupid for even hoping that he would be Juri’s happy ending, but he had just gotten so sick of watching Juri pining over Shintarou and plastering on fake smiles whenever Shintarou would talk to him about how wonderful whoever his girlfriend at that point in time was. He just wanted Juri to be happy, and so he decided that he would be the one to make him happy, since Shintarou was clearly too stupid to see what was right in front of him.

 

“I know you think I was stupid, but - ”

 

“I don’t,” Taiga says.

  
Hokuto stares at him with a frown on his face.

 

“I don’t,” Taiga repeats. “I was the one who convinced Juri that he should give you a chance after all.”

 

Hokuto’s mouth drops open slightly. It’s the first time he’s hearing this, and he wonders why Juri had never brought it up.

 

“If you’re wondering why Juri never told you, it’s because I told him not to.”

 

“Wait… what? I don’t understand. Why was it something you didn’t want me to know?”

 

Taiga is silent for a long time, and Hokuto gets more impatient with each minute that passes, though he doesn't press Taiga for an answer. The guitar riff draws to an end, and the audience erupts in a deafening round of applause and cheers. Taiga choose that exact moment to reply, and Hokuto only heard him because they were sitting shoulder to shoulder.

 

“Because I’m in love with you, idiot.”

 

Taiga doesn’t wait to see Hokuto’s reaction as he stands and walks away, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. Hokuto stays stunned in his seat as he watches Taiga’s retreating back.

 

* * *

 

Hokuto’s still having a hard time processing what is essentially Taiga’s confession that he doesn’t notice someone approaching him until they have sat down beside him.

 

“Hey.”

 

Hokuto tenses as he hears Juri’s familiar voice.

 

“Hi,” he manages.

 

Juri doesn’t say anything, and Hokuto finds the courage to look at him when the silence becomes too painful to bear. He notices Shintarou watching them from a distance but doesn’t pay much attention to him. His attention is instead drawn to Juri biting down on his lower lip and the frown on Juri’s face as he struggles to find the words to say. Hokuto hates that he’s the one doing this to him.

 

Hokuto doesn’t know what compels him to do it, but he brings a hand up to cup Juri’s head and brings Juri closer to him. He feels more than hears Juri’s small sigh as the other relaxes into his touch, turning his head slightly towards Hokuto. Hokuto buries his head into Juri’s hair and breathes in deeply, the smell familiar and comforting to him. It makes it that much harder to pull away, but Hokuto manages it. He presses his lips against Juri’s forehead and smooths his hand down Juri’s hair as he leans in close to Juri’s ear.

 

“I’m sorry. Be happy,” Hokuto whispers before letting go of Juri completely.

 

He hears Juri letting out a ragged breath as he stands up, but he doesn’t look back as he walks away, finally feeling some semblance of peace in his heart.

 

* * *

 

“Take responsibility.”

 

Hokuto almost bursts out laughing at the way Taiga jumps in shock. The older man turns around and gives Hokuto a confused yet shy look. Taiga’s nervously fiddling with his shirt with his hand, and it’s cute that he doesn’t even realise he’s doing that.

 

“You said that you were the one who convinced Juri to date me.”

 

“Well, yeah.”

 

“Well, Juri broke my heart, so I think you need to take responsibility for it.”

 

“What? Hokuto, I, you… what?”

 

Hokuto turns to Taiga, the hesitant expression on his face contrasting the calm way he had first approached Taiga.

 

“I’m still in love with Juri,” Hokuto confesses, and he feels guilty when he sees the obvious hurt that flashes across Taiga’s face. He wonders how stupid he must have been all this time for not noticing. It suddenly makes sense why Juri was always that much less affectionate with him whenever Taiga was around. “But I think I’m finally ready to move on. No, I want to move on.”

 

“And… and you want me to help you…?”

 

“I…” Hokuto feels stupid for thinking it, but he says it anyway. “Somehow, I think it’ll be okay if it’s you.”

 

Taiga scoffs loudly at that, and Hokuto flushes as he fidgets on the spot. It suddenly feels like approaching Taiga without thinking anything through is a terrible idea. It’s just that he’s so sick of thinking about everything. It’s his turn to jump slightly when he feels a hand slipping into his. Taiga, ever vengeful, sniggers at that before giving his hand a quick squeeze.

 

“Yeah, I think I can do.”

 

Taiga smiles at him, the lights illuminating his face prettily, and Hokuto feels his heart skipping a slight beat as a smile as warm as the hand in his settles onto his face.

 

“Thank you.”


End file.
